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Behind-the-Song
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Lyrics
Verse 1
Bluebirds whispered that he don’t think of me
But his name lingers, I hear it in the breeze
Pre-Chorus
I don’t understand if he was the one who hurt me
How he gets to live his life freely
But I think that I’ve finally found my peace
Chorus
Kept his melody inside my soul
I give myself permission to let it go
He hurt me for a reason I’ll never know
I give myself permission to let it go
Verse 2
Wasted honor, he gave up in the end
So goodbye monster, and farewell dear old friend
Pre-Chorus
I don’t understand if he was the one who hurt me
How he gets to live his life freely
But I think that I’ve finally found my peace
Chorus
Kept his melody inside my soul
I give myself permission to let it go
He hurt me for a reason I’ll never know
I give myself permission to let it go
Bridge
Freedom never tasted so sweet, I’m getting up from my knees
And one day I hope I will forgive you for what you’ve done to me
Chorus
Kept his melody inside my soul
I give myself permission to let it go
He hurt me for a reason I’ll never know
I give myself permission to let it go
Kept his melody inside my soul
I give myself permission to let it go
He hurt me for a reason I’ll never know
I give myself permission to let it go
I give myself permission to let it go
Finally I am moving on, I’ve let him go
“I think I’m stuck on the Mr. Logic of it all because I actually trusted him. And to be betrayed on something this important by someone you trust is traumatizing. Especially since I don’t trust men, which is something I’d told him repeatedly. Am I gonna be able to trust a different guy ever again? To feel that connection I thought we had? To sus out if it’s genuine or another Mr. Logic?
“I think had I not interacted with Febrizio, and especially Diego this year, I wouldn’t feel that I’d be able to. But Diego was kind of the Mr. Logic that I could “fuck.” Sure we didn’t know enough about each other to have a deep connection or whatever, but he genuinely wanted to make sure I was comfortable and confident in everything we were sexting about. It made me roll my eyes, but it was sweet.
“Without that, I would have no hope.”
Excerpt from To You: The Nedy Johnson Diaries”
This and more diaries entries are available with the purchase of To You (Deluxe)